HOW TO MANAGE WORRY
Its In Our DNA
In a general sense it is quite natural to have a bit of natural worry. Our reptilian brain is always on the look-out for danger and potential threats. On a very basic level, this concept is not negative because it keeps us safe and alive. We, as humans are highly intelligent and very smart. This highly evolved aspect can play against us because we can use this very natural instinct of watching out for danger and make it run on auto-pilot all day long. In general, a modern day lifestyle has very few life threatening issues. The problem comes when we start telling ourselves that there can be future, potential dangers around every corner. This is called Worrying! When we worry, we act as though whatever convincing story we tell ourselves about a future event will come true. Can you imagine if, just for one day that all the rubbish that you worried about actually came true?? How scary would that be? Our worries very seldomly manifest into reality because at the end of the day, our worries are merely imagined, hocus-pocus stories that are Based On Fear.
Your aim in life should be to find what empowers you and live by the philosophy of self-empowerment. Do your worries make you feel empowered?
Worry's That Come True
There is a brilliant documentary called "Seconds from disaster". It starts with a real life accident and then tracks back into an investigation of all the issues the came to play that lead to the disaster. Sometimes you will find that your worrying ends up coming true and so you feel you have validated your need to worry. But if you took a closer look at the events leading up to this so-called truth (as in the above mention of "Seconds from disaster"), you may find that by putting so much attention to the reality of your worry, you somehow sabotage yourself. You end up blowing an interview because you are so concerned about messing up that you forget what you wanted to say and fall on your words. Or you are so convinced that your partner will leave you that you get overly jealous or suspicious of them, which eventually sees the downfall of the relationship.
When you worry you tend to focus on problems and how they are affecting you. Without solutions, these problems will close off your focus, creativity, motivation, resources and possibility-thinking. You will become trapped in your own head, your Internal Communication will be terrible and you will only notice those aspects that reinforce your negative thinking and the whole issue becomes a repeating downward spiral of worst case scenarios.
A Useless Piece of Baggage
Your need for worry is a useless piece of baggage that must be dumped. It will weigh you down and limit your potential. Can you imagine listening to your child vomit out all this negative worry about issues you know can either be fixed or aren't even worth worrying about. Now imagine listening to your child vomit out all this worry in the realization that they learn 't this destructive behaviours from watching you worry all the time! Trust me, it happens! Does this empower your child? Certainly not. If it is not good for your child, then I can assure you that it is of no value to you. If you have absolutely no control over the given situation, then you cannot allow yourself to worry about it. You cannot control the weather, or bank fees or traffic. When you worry about what you cannot control, you only hurt yourself. Life is always in flow with ever changing circumstances. Do you think the tree worries that winter is coming? Do you think that the moon worries about the sun stealing its limelight? If you cannot control the event, don't allow yourself to worry about it.
Stop Worrying
There is a good chance that you won't stop worrying, so next time you find yourself worrying about something like how you will perform during your next business presentation, first recognize that you are in a state of worry. This recognition alone will start to re-empower you because you are taking yourself out of a victim mentality and putting it in a resourceful mind-set. Then, ask yourself some powerful questions that will turn your problem into its own solution.
Ask yourself the following :
What am I worrying about?
What resources do I have available to either end or alleviate this worry?
What can I do right now to feel more empowered?
What is completely out of my control?
The answers to these questions will put you in a resourceful state and direct you to take action or allow you to let it go. This may not be a perfect equation with all the right answers, but it will hopefully help you to empower yourself in the future.
Thanks for reading,
Kim
