KIM LEWIS-WILLIAMS
ENERGY KINESIOLOGIST

Internal vs External

If internal communication is how you view yourself, then external communication is how outside world views you.
If you require any form of success, whether it's relationship, business, finance or friendship, a Life Coach will help you to understand how your communication technique affects those around you.

Have you ever been involved in a conversation and it gets weird because something you said was completely taken out of context, flipped on it's head and transformed into something completely different. This is miscommunication! It happens all the time and creates so much unnecessary anger, frustration and heart-ache. Have you ever heard: "it's not what you said, but how you said it."?
Again, miscommunication!

Only 7%

Did you know that verbal communication constitutes only a tiny percent of your communication with someone? Check this out - Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages, conducted several studies on nonverbal communication. He found that 7% of any message is conveyed through words, 38% through certain vocal elements, and 55% through nonverbal elements (facial expressions, gestures, posture, etc). So there you have it. It's really not what you are saying, but rather how you are saying it.

If you think that some people just have a knack for talking to people, then, consider that maybe the consciously or unconsciously know how to convey their verbal and non-verbal forms of communication. Although the various forms and techniques of communication can be quite intense to learn and master, all you really need to be aware of is what you are doing when you are talking to someone. Just think of how you may appear when you are angry and shouting at someone. Raised eye brows, high pitched tone in your voice, fast and erratic speech, leaning forward with arms waving and fingers pointing. That's the extreme, but you can clearly see that if you adjust certain aspects of yourself, you can easily bring a point across. Unfortunately, most aren't even aware of these subtle changes in character until they look back at how the other person responded to them.

Autopilot - A Waste Of Human Potential

It is such a waste of human potential if you are always on autopilot and don't become aware and conscious of how people may be interpreting your sense of communication. It is no coincidence that a smile is often well received. Neither is it a coincidence that brashness and interrupting can be annoying. It is a forgotten art and if you can listen to people instead of interrupting them all the time with your "five cents" on the matter, you will automatically be respected as a good communicator.
Good leaders, whether they have good intent or not have mastered the art of clear communication. Just look at Hitler. He wanted to take over the world. He conveyed his message correctly to his followers and the rest is history. It is the same reason that great sales people can sell so effortlessly. The understand the message that they want to bring across and convey it convincingly.

Final Thoughts

Next time you have a debate with your loved one or friend, take a step back in your mind and watch what you say, how you say it, your body language, your facial expressions, your proximity to them. See yourself how they are seeing you. Become allies with your awareness and let it show you where you can improve. If you really want to improve your communication skills, ask someone someone you trust to monitor your communication and inform you of how you convey yourself. This exercise can really blow your mind! If you can effectively communicate your message to people, there is no doubt that you can become a success at whatever you desire. Learn about how you are around people. Be willing to alter and change aspects of yourself. Let go of those parts of yourself that don't move you forward. This is your life. Become a master of it.

Thanks for reading,
Kim