THE LOST ART OF LISTENING
Did you know that every 8 seconds during a conversation, someone will interrupt the person speaking? One of the major problem people and companies face is miscommunication. We are so eager to respond when someone is speaking that we often miss crucial information during the conversation, which can lead to errors and therefore frustration, confusion, blame and resentment. All because various details of the conversation were not properly grasped by the listener. We need to embrace a sense of "Generous Listening".
So What Is Generous Listening?
Generous listening (as taught by practicing Life Coaches) is the act of being totally present while someone is speaking to you. It is the act of paying attention to what is being said. It if the act of refraining from you own judgment on the subject and how you intend to respond with what you would do, say or act in that scenario.
I´m Listening, Now What?
Are you really? Did you perhaps notice that I asked for a cup of coffee in the above paragraph? Go back and read it again… Okay, just joking, I have to see if you are paying attention. The best place to start is to get involved in what is being said and take an interest. How often has someone been talking to you and here you are thinking about something or someone else. So Rude! Pay attention!... :) Understand what point the person is trying to get across. A fantastic trick to show engagement is to repeat back a certain part of a statement back to the speaker.
Example : John "I am so interested in this place. It is so fascinating." Mary : "Wow John, so what you are saying is that this place interests you and you find it fascinating. Very interesting." Now just add in 2 – 3 nods of the head with a smile and watch the magic open before you. John will not in excitement as he mirrors your action and will be enthralled by the fact you totally understand what point he is trying to bring across to you. This is cool trick, but only use this to become a better listener. It Is Not A Party Trick! At their core, people want to be loved, feel understood and be accepted by those around them. It´s that simple. Provide someone with this and you will become a master of relationships. Whether it’s with a spouse, college, friend or even a stranger. Have you ever been speaking to someone and they constantly interrupt you, or even worse, ignore and start speaking to someone else. Doesn’t feel good. So don’t do it to other people. Pay attention to the conversation and if the person requires your advise, please feel free to give it, but also know that not many people want advise to all the issues and problems. Sometimes they just want someone to listen to them and understand their point of view.
Always Try
Always strive to be a better person today, than who you were yesterday. Always be ready to learn a new life coaching technique, skill or strategy that can enhance your dealings with how you present yourself and how you accept the presence of those around you. It is not difficult to be a little better, but you must be willing to try. You must be willing to pursue what you interpret self-mastery to be and take responsibility in achieving it. It is not a destination, but an ideal that will lead you along your entire life time. Even if you learn a million self help techniques and you only master one, I can assure you that your life will be greatly enhanced in every other aspect, simply from the knock-on effect of all your efforts. Generous listening is an art, but with a bit of practice it can easily be perfected.
Thanks for reading,
Kim
